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Pastelcried

Pastelcried

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Okuya is

Okuya is

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"Your prince will come. He may not be riding a white horse, or have a big castle. But he will want you, and only you, and that will be better than any fairytale."
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"Delete her number.

Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.

Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.

She loves you.

She has been in love with you for too long.

So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.

Forget her.

Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.

Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.

Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.

What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.

Doggedly loyal to you.

That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reach out to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?

She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.

Right now.

But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later."
Lauren Hooper (via fawun)
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escafeism:

You are my weakness. No matter how upset or angry I am, you could easily tame me. No matter how happy and cheerful I am, you could easily turn down my mood. No matter how hard I try to forget you and go on with my life; because I know you’ll probably leave me, because I know you’re better off without me and because I know I am undeserving, I still can’t. I just can’t stop this. I just can’t stop loving you.

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Via: escafeism
babaengmagulo:

Those words are probably the painful ones, for me. I mean. Come on. What sorry can do if you already left me hanging? Ok. You’re sorry you gave up on us. You’re sorry you let go of my hand. You’re sorry you cheated on me. You’re sorry you found someone better. I get it. But.. How did you do that? Why? I didn’t give up on you. I didn’t let go of your hand. I didn’t cheat on you. I didn’t look for someone else. Not even once. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not worthy of your love? Am I not good enough?

babaengmagulo:

Those words are probably the painful ones, for me. I mean. Come on. What sorry can do if you already left me hanging? Ok. You’re sorry you gave up on us. You’re sorry you let go of my hand. You’re sorry you cheated on me. You’re sorry you found someone better. I get it. But.. How did you do that? Why? I didn’t give up on you. I didn’t let go of your hand. I didn’t cheat on you. I didn’t look for someone else. Not even once. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not worthy of your love? Am I not good enough?

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May mga tanong talagang di na kelangan ng confirmation. Dahil may mga tao talagang kayang ipagpalit lahat ng mga pagsubok na pinag daanan nyo, mga problemang na solusyonan, away na napag kasunduaan. Madaling kalimutan. Madaling palitan. Madaling iwan. Minsan kasi akala natin sapat na yung oras, atensyon, care at love na na ibigay mo para di na sila makapag hanap ng ibang makakapag pasaya sakanila, yung di mababaling yung atensyon sa iba. Pero kahit gaano pa sa tingin mo kasapat yun, kulang at kulang pa din yun once nakakita na sila ng mas hihigit sayo. Alam naman na natin na kapag nag mahal ka, binibigyan na natin sila ng lisensya para saktan ka, pero hangang kelan natin kakayanin masktan? 

Yung aabutin ka ng madaling araw kakatatanong sa sarili mo kung anong nagawa mo? Ano kayang problema sa sarili mo bakit ganito ang nagnyayari sainyo. Bakit may taong kayang kaya kang saktan. Kayang kaya kang iwan. Kayang kaya kang i-take for granteed kasi pagkatapos ng lahat alam niya na maiinitindihan mo siya. Unfair nga talaga siguro ang mundo, yung ikaliligaya ng iba, lason namang unti-unting pumapatay sa iba. May mga taong gagawin ang lahat ma-protektahan lang yung taong mahal nila, habang ikaw kasi alam niyang  malakas ka, alam niyang kakayanin mo kung hindi man ikaw ang piliin niya. Unang una di mo naman kelangan mag papili diba? Kasi kung totoong mahal ka niya kahit di ka na magtanong alam mo na na ikaw ang pipiliin pero magtatanong ka pa din, kasi masakit ang katotohanan. Hindi na siguro mag hihintay. Wala ng hinihintay. Wala ng babalik. 

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"Ang pinakamasakit na pakiramdam sa mundo ay yung nararamdaman mong hindi ka na niya mahal pero hindi niya masabi sayo dahil wala ka namang ginagawang masama.."

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There are days that I listen to my playlist for him. There are days that I need to remember what it was like to be in love with him. To have him next to me, to laugh together- even though we were never “together”. Some days I just need to remember its possible to feel like I did with him.

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arrrvic:

Hoping that someday I will be important to my special someone.

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Source: arrrvic Via: niromansa
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Via: anonycost
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